Vulnerability in the Counseling setting

I want to talk with you about what it is like to be vulnerable when you come into a counselor's office. A lot of people when they come in for the first time, may have not even sought out help before, or may have been struggling seeing someone but they weren't the right fit. A lot of times they have experienced that pain of rejection by other people as well. So coming in and talking to someone about your deepest secrets can often be difficult.

So how is a counselor different from just having a friend? A counselor is capable of looking at things from a non-harsh point and can help you see things from a clearer vision. It is often difficult to be vulnerable with that person because they are essentially a total stranger. The good news is that most counselors have sat on that side of the couch as well and should be able to help you talk about stuff that is extremely difficult and maybe even painful.

Now, does this come easily and quickly? Sometimes it doesn't, and that is not unusual. I have worked with clients for a long time and they will still say "I was afraid to share that with you because I was afraid that you might judge me or make a mean comment about it." The thing about a really good counselor is they are not there to judge you. They are there to help you resolve whatever issues might be happening. The vulnerability piece is definitely difficult but our job is to help you figure out what the pain is that you're experiencing and then help you work through the pain

It is not unusual for people to hang on to things like sexual abuse for a long time and when you approach that subject a client may pull back and say "I’m not ready to deal with that." If you are that patient that is not ready to deal with it, your counselor should give you the space and say "okay we're not going to deal with that right now but we'll come back to it.”

Vulnerability is tough for most people but when you're going into a counselor, don't think that they expect you to give all of your deepest darkest secrets immediately. We are also human beings and we recognize that some things are just too painful to share. However, we also know that if you share it we can work on the healing process. When you get to the other side, you are going to feel a lot better.

Now, knowing a little about the healing process, it is often relieving when you first start sharing your information. If you think about the therapy process as being in a tunnel, when you first go in you might see a little bit of light, but the further you go in the tunnel the darker it may get. Sometimes it gets darker before you see the light again, so expect that when going into the therapy process. Your counselor is there to be with you every step of the way as you're going through that process and opening yourself up.

As a therapist, I know it's hard and I understand how difficult vulnerability can be, however I also know that if you work through the process, there is so much healing on the other end.

My suggestion to you would be to find a therapist that you really trust, and open up to them because they are here to help you heal. I hope this helps! If you've been having some doubts about whether or not you can share something with your therapist and if you have been holding things in, please reach out to them. They are there for you!

If you would like to work with me, visit the “New Patient Registration” link to get started!